friday

i have dentist appointment this friday. gonna get my teeth fix...soon! yippiee..excited!!!!!

smiley!

2 down

Karen Millen patchwork leather purse

HTC HD2

1 more to go

Canon EOS 500D

erk..plus one?


sony psp go

BILLABONG Pro Am & Occy Grom Comp

The most beautiful and peaceful weekend i've ever had. thanks to dini n cepot for accompanying me. thanks to nas n zarin as well for being great local hosts. it was a really fun photo session, melantak, membuta n melepak weekend.

note: thanks to my comfort zone n wan for the camera!!!

my representative

Song of the day
Jack Savoretti - Without
The words to this song represents how i feel. literally.
a song dedicated to him.



I've Been Walking In This Road
Time Passing Me By
Letting Go Of What I Couldn't Hold
Finding Places To Hide

I've Been Watching You Closely
Every Move That You Make
And All The Things You've Showed To Me
Are Getting Harder To Take

I Wish That We Could Begin From The Start
I Pray That I Could Be Brave Enough
To Show You How Easily I Fall Apart
I Can't Let You Know
That I Can't Let It Show
'Cause I'd Rather Be Without Than Be Without You

I Guess I Feel Like A Stranger
When It Comes Down To Love
I'm Too Aware of The Danger
That It Can Bring Upon Us

I Wish That We Could Begin From The Start
I Pray That I Could Be Brave Enough
To Show You How Easily I Fall Apart
I Can't Let You Know

I Wish That We Could Begin From The Start
I Pray That I Could Be Brave Enough
To Find Out If You'd Ever Give Me Your Heart
Cause You Don't Let Me Know
You Don't Let It Show
And I Want You To Know
That I'd Rather Be Without Than Without You

dc

again. for the second time i feel like disconnecting myself from everyone.
from him. from my dearest friend.
I am so emotionally unstable that i lock myself in the room doing nothing but sleep.
i dont feel like eating.
i dont feel like going out even tho mim n ieka tried to pujuk me.
i shout at my own sister over a small thing.
i ignore the bebelan my mum, dad n aunt gave me regarding me not taking care of my own health.
i sms'ed him telling him that i am not in good health n mood n might not want to talk.
not him not anyone.

but the thing is. i dont even know what the hell is wrong with me.
i dont know what i feel
i dont know what i'm thinking
i dont know what i want
n i dont know what i need
i dont know what i'm mad at
i dont know what i'm sad at
it all so mixed up that i feel nothing

here i am. sulking.
creating my own drama.
in my own stupid mind world.

i am now. disconnecting.

what am i

a dear friend of mine is officially a lawyer today. a few already hv master on hand. a few friends were married. a few of em already hv kids. n most of em are living their dream life.

me? i'm stuck here doing something i never thought of doing. well basically i'm working for the sake of money. even tho sometimes i do enjoy what i'm doing. its just not fully in my heart. yet. i just ended my 1 1/2 years full of lies relationship. and i'm now falling for someone i'm not supposed to. dear friends are now bz with their own responsibilities. i do not blame them. and i have nothing to think of except how boring my life is.

but wth. i'm 24. i might sound old but there's still loooong future waiting for me. ahead. n that is what i'm chasing now.

takde jawapan

here i am. lying on my bed. wondering. where do i stand. he told me he missed me. but what does he really mean?

what am i to him? a friend? a potential gf to be? a substitute? or just another bitch who stupidly fall for him? regardless of what the answer might be, i am happy just being able to talk n see him once in a while. tho i wouldn't lie..i do have hope.

is there possibility that i can be his future gf? i am not sure about that. and this uncertainty.. is killing me. despite all the lies, the pretending, the drama. i know his gf still owns that special place in his heart. the gf, the purest soul, the untouchable, that he will surely kept to become his wife. but where am i in his heart? full of sins, dirtiness. i bet that i am not even close to what he's looking for. so am i just a toy for him to play with? we did things that we have no answer to. well at least i have mine but i am just not sure of his. was it my biggest mistake? i aint got no clue.