my heart n pulse

moved

2011-03-05T07:02:00.000+08:00

4 days to go

2011-01-31T20:23:00.005+08:00

well. i've been very busy lately. with works, the preparation, kursus, family and relationship. tomorrow's a day off for us the federal territorian workers. so i will have some ample time to help my bff who's preparing for her enggagement day. planning to go for mani & pedi tomorrow. yippie. i have to admit its my first time (lame!) and im all excited bout it. but before that. kene mengerah tenaga kemas rumah and buy last min stuff since sis will be working.

people been asking. "ape perasaan? nervous tak?". well, to tell u the truth i wont be nervous until the day comes. bile dah sampai hari berkenaan baru la akan rase panic attack. now just normal stress la.

as for the preparation. so far.. bole dikatakan bagus juga la. altho ade jugak certain stuff yg makes me feel like killing someone. i managed to get the decoration i want for the hantaran. tapi kene alter sikit2 la.

here's a sneak peak:

pelamin, hari jumaat pasang. well. i dont really kisah bout the pelamin. mum's the one want to have it so layankan ajeeee..

ruf idea on how my pelamin will look like:

p/s: not exactly like this. i've mix n match my ideas n this beautiful pelamin by Kerja Kahwin

i wont be using my room during siap2 session. my sis voluntarily 'sponsored' her room to me for one day. hahaha. she even pegi kedai to buat a new curtain for the room just for the occasion (tipu la lepas tu gune juga). so dat means i can still leave my room in a mess (in my dreams. nanti ade singa mengaum)

as for the baju, not to say im dissapointed. i love the skirt, like seriously. its just that the tailor cut the baju a bit short so it doesnt jatuh perfectly as i wanted. so redha je la. luckily there's leftover lace so patch sikit to cover up. but mum was unhappy. she was dissapointed that the baju was short (now dah alter pon still bising jugak) and that the beading was not up to her standard (ini masalah bile dpt mak tau jahit n suke all this 'artistic' work). well for me.. bende da siap pon kire bagus. i want it to be as simple as possible. but being the first girl in fam to get E.. terpakse la terime bile family yg terlebih excited. now mum's working on the beading. so we'll see how it'll turn out to be

a teaser for u guys:

make up test also went well. love it very much. n thank you kak nurul for being extra patient doing my eyes. haha. salute u! cant wait to see the make up bile dah sarung my baju this saturday. hope it'll turn beautiful.

ok lah. dont want to spill everything here. will upload moreeee photos one's the event selesai. wish me luck!

round

2010-12-15T22:59:00.003+08:00

year END

2010-12-13T21:46:00.003+08:00

its been a loooonnnggg time since i last update blog ni. been really busy with work and life. lagipun mmg tak tau nak tulis ape. ramai dah tegur.. even my own boss (hth die tau kewujudan blog nie pon tak tau)

so now a quick recap with watever yg dah terjadi since oct

1. oct was my birthday. n dlm bulan nie jugaklah yg terjadi 'meet the parents' part 1. hahaha.. i had a small birthday dinner with fam n aunts where he was also invited. it went well. tho tak byk ckp. malu2 kucing laaaa...

2. second meet the parents was the day after. at his house. sempena birthday his mum. it went well too even tapi sgtlah scaryyyyy

3. birthday party at home. ramai dtg. alhamdulillah. ramai jugak tak dpt dtg. tetapi disbbkan alasan sme adalah munasabah. maka dimaafkan. he was the first to arrived and stayed sampai habis. so does my lovely lil sis shasha. thanks sbb tolong kemas to those who came. thank you very much.

4. november. paintball world cup. the month where everything was about him. parents went to johor that weekend. so life jadi lagi sgt senang to teman him at the tournament village. not having to answer tons of q's from mom n dad.. n first time terjadinya 'tido mati' setelah sekian lama. 17 missed call.. shit.

5. december. the month where our relationship has been given green light by the parents. heee.. received two blings to officiate that. one is the 'cincin tanda' and another one is birthday present from his parents. loving em both (agak pelik coz before this i hate wearing rings)

6. also the month were kerja adalah sgt berlambak. work stress which caused severe migraine attacks.. dah a few days dah sampai skali tu sampai demam. might be getting more towards the end of the year. haish. this is also the month where i finally realise whether im really into this job or not. the answer? let me just keep it to my self.

7. bulan dimana semua planning2 bermula. planning ape? just wait n see

candles 2010

2010-08-31T21:22:00.001+08:00

oct belum sampai lagi but i've already plan nak bagi ape utk diri sendiri this year. hehehehe. will post it soon.. insyaallah.. wait n seeee

i'm bored. so i blog. 10 things in my mind

2010-08-15T09:26:00.004+08:00

its 9.26am. currently waiting for some friends to confirm to our initial plan to serbu someone's house later in the afternoon. hope she doesn't read this. heee..
getting tons of work loads nowadays. been travelling a lot too. i went to teluk intan, cyberjaya, pandamaran jaya n chemor for the past 10 days. since it involves big fees.. i don't really mind. bulan 4 if tak bagi awesome bonus mmg nak kene maki.
i'm currently the official 'fast food' girl at the office. i'm the Mrs. McD, but since Mr. KFC is on medical leave until i don't know when... tolong sikit2 lah.
me n syg ..well.. things working really well between us. a lot more communication. which means alot more tantrum n mood swing .. :P, let just say we're being urself. n in the process of figuring each other out. we complete each other.. (at least thats what i think) ..satu hari tak jumpe dah susah hati. rinduuu ILY
me n mr. peacemaker also becoming more rapat n rapat each day. bff in the making. hahaha.. i guess. hahaha. hey, have to change la. i'm ur ms. peacemaker. since i help u a lot. upah2. i dont care. i want my holidayyyy!
one of the ex's called. to appologize. well i hope he really means why he said. jgn hangat2 tahi ayam je. watever it is i dont really mind. as long as u tak kacau my beautiful life im having rite now.. i'm ok with being ur friends again.
raya's approaching. cant wait to melaram with my baju raya. tempah 2 kurung mordern, bought one kebaya nyonya n another kebaya dah lame siap. pakai a few times je. so got 4 baju utk dipakai raye nanti. weee..
need to stop my excessive spending. settle my credit card first. still got rm5000 to pay. yes. rm5000. a lot. i know. thanks to my beloved hp n the so called expensive dental treatment.
owh yeah. i cut my hair short. finally. after the so ever menyusahkan long n thick hair. not that i dont like my hair. its just so damn degil n hard to manage. ape lagi. potong je la pendek.
last but not least. my medical check up with my fav neurosurgeon went.. i dont know. well i guess. the MRI shows no signs of tumor. just this unknown white thing in the middle of my brain. n he still couldn't figure out wat's causing the sengal feeling on my left siku n lutut. wait till i tell him its effecting my right knee as well. owh yeah. coz of that my debt with daddy bertambah. RM2800 (custom wardrobe) + RM1400 (repair kereta) + RM1220 (medical bills)..haish..

bells - EDITED

2010-07-23T08:30:00.002+08:00

ada apa dengan
OCTOBER 2011

NOVEMBER 2011

i guess u have to wait
coz i cannot tell!!!
*edit lagi. still mencari date paling best

CZ

2010-06-30T21:54:00.006+08:00

they got married earlier this month
and i myself cant believe the amount of strength and bravery
that i had to actually attend the wedding and survived
even tho most of my bff advised me not to
but.. rizal, congratulations,
deep in my heart, i'm really happy for u
and the changes in u
u'll be the best husband a women could ever wish for
insyaallah, amin

"kawan"

2010-06-18T18:42:00.003+08:00

i'm at port dickson rite now. in the room of the apartment me n my siblings rent for our family weekend gateway. n once again mama excitedly asking me to invite my "kawan" over. ok mum.. is there something u're not telling me?

ZZZZzzzzz

2010-05-03T15:36:00.002+08:00

i managed to finish up my reports and 3 reminders today
even tho im supppppeeerrr sleepy
still working on one more report tho
haish...
i look like a half drunk women who's crying over her husband death
yes..thats how bad i look

oh dear

2010-05-02T01:04:00.003+08:00

why do i still love him
why do i still miss him
why do i wish we're still together
why cant i stop remembering...thinking bout our moments together
why?

PAINTBALLL!!!

2010-04-29T12:58:00.009+08:00

i bought this a while back

Proto Axis Pro Limited Edition pattern ENIGMA

and yesterday i bought this

Valken Crusade paintball pants

n looking forward to buy this baby soon

Planet Eclipse SLS Ego Thistle

or

Planet Eclipse Ego 10 Ashes

n not forgetting my 'dream on' je la marker

Angel A1 Special FLY

and

Dye NT 2010 Limited Edition Wave Yellow

oh yeah baby! pokai duit lepas nie

tapi antare sme2 marker tu beli Planet Eclipse Geo plus or Geo 2 je la kot

baru marker je, harness, loader, tank tak masuk lagi. shit.

ni la sebab nape sbrnye tak nak main paintball

tapi da beli. camne. main tak lagi nie.
shashaaaa..cepat laaaaaaa

Cunningham Lindsey Adjusters (M) Sdn Bhd

2010-04-13T20:36:00.002+08:00

kak ieza: congrats kiera!!
me: heh? asal
kak ieza: kiera dah confirm
me: aik, camne akak tau
kak ieza: adalahhhhh :P
me: ala akak nie
kak ieza: diorg da revise salary kiera, now RM****. kaye la skrg
me: ala kak naik sikit je
kak ieza: ok lah tu
me: betul gak kan. dari takde lansung
kak ieza: yup2. once again. congrats.

now, mase utk tunggu black n white from 'abg mat'. yuhuuu.. cepat la 28 April.. nak shoppinggggg.. n byr credit card!! chis.

Shop shop shop

2010-04-10T20:49:00.008+08:00

1. HTC hd2 RM2899- checked
2. Karen Millen patchwork leather purse RM480 - checked
3. Nike black purple training shoes RM459- checked
4. Salvatore Ferragamo Incanto Charm & Escada Pacific Paradie perfume RM180- checked
5. Paintball mask (rizal's birthday gift) RM300- checked
6. Charles & Keith handbag RM168- checked
7. Pro Axis Enigma Limited Edition pattern paintball mask RM330- checked
8. Custom build in wardrobe for my room RM2200- checked

writer's note: duit dah habis... wuaaaaaaa!!! tapi nak gak beli ni:

9. Mountain bike (either Lerun or custom GT) RM800++ or RM2000 - coming soon
10. Paintball marker RM3000++- coming soon
11. Holiday trip (to either Thailand or Indonesia) TBC- coming soon
12. Canon 550d or Nikon d90 RM3888 or RM4688- coming soon
13. Nintendo wii or PSP go RM1000++ or RM650 - coming soon
14. Fox Racing hoodie RM250- coming soon
15. Stella McCartney white cycling gloves RM200 - coming soon

duit duit duit. cepat la dtg duit. mum n dad will surely kill me if they know i've been spending this baddddd

p/s:nanti tambah lagi kalau igt

can you..

2010-04-04T21:02:00.003+08:00

can u actually fall or love someone by only knowing his name
how he looks like, knowing a few of the things he likes..
n by meeting him once n not having a real conversation..
can u?

22

2010-03-30T22:55:00.003+08:00

happy 22nd birthday

Saiful Anwar Hamdan

p/s: sorry blanje makan tgif je :)

The anger in me

2010-03-25T00:30:00.003+08:00

i'm having a serious serious anger management problem nowadays
i get pissed off easily
over small tiny bit thing
mangsa terbaru ... Rurizalakmal
my own comfort zone
over something he said which according to him was a tease
i have no idea where this thing came from

ok i have to admit that i had this kind of prob before
but i managed to control it a few years back
but now..
its all coming back to me
betul kot org ckp when u lost something, u gain something
i lost my happiness.. n i gain my anger, my bad temper
n i'm starting to loose friends because of this
some of my very good friend
now. i'm in a mess.

oh bike bike

2010-03-21T23:34:00.004+08:00

went bike hunting today n i saw one hell of a pretty white mountain bike. the price? RM5480.00. should i spend that much for a semi-pro, mid range bike? since the real downhill mountain bike cost almost rm28k maybe i could start of with a beginner bike that cost around rm800-rm1000 first then once im good at it, upgrade to a better bike that cost slightly higher than that. i know my parents will kill me if they know i bought a rm5k bike, for sure. damn.. what am i going to do now?

yey

2010-03-20T22:30:00.001+08:00

kawan baik saye nak kawin. walaupun lambat lagi tapi saye dah excited. i'm gonna be maid of honor bebeh. dah kene start carik dress design. wuhuuu

thoughts

2010-03-20T20:21:00.003+08:00

the recent (not so recent laaa) incident has thought me lots of things
- how to be stupid by taking pills overdose n try to attempt suicide
- how to get really pissed at people n to really curse
- how to cry out of a sudden n to laugh when there's not even a person a round me who's trying to tell a joke or make me sad
- how to spend rm1000 in 4 days
- how to lie to myself just to make me feel better
- how to pretend that i am superbly happy when i am not
- how to differentiate good friends n friends who're there only when i am happy or when they needed me
- how to find back my previous interest in extreme sports
- how to live without a laptop for almost 5 days
- how to appreciate people
- how to take care of myself, better
and the most important
HOW TO APPRECIATE LIFE and LIVE IT TO THE FULLEST

p/s: today i spend most of the time browsing thru pictures of my happily married friends. i'm not gonna lie. i envied them. wish i can feel that kind of happiness too. but its not my time yet. i can face the fact now. so i'll wait. till the day comes. even if its gonna take another 10 yrs. i'll patiently wait. :)

Dear Mr. P (bkn name sebenar)

2010-03-19T18:30:00.003+08:00

didnt it even occur in ur mind whether u have the rights to even merajuk for the things i said after what u've done? i've said it tons n tons of times. i like our friendship n my main objective is to be a good friend n stay that way. n i did. i was there most of the time when u need someone to talk to. even tho u kadang2 tak nak jwb telephone but i know deep in ur heart u need to let it out. n i never fail to cheer u up.
but u have this tendency to hilang mcm tu je, without any explanation.. especially when things goes wrong between u n her n it involves me. u will only tegur me back when u feel like it n that usually took quite a while. as a friend dont u even care how i feel n think? need help or boring je carik. if not hilang. that is not a good friendship.
tapi takpe la kan. im USSSSEEEEDDDD to it already. not only from u but others as well..so if u nak keep on merajuk pls do.. i couldnt care less
n like i said.. after all the things that had happened, i am now a cold, random and hot tempered person. so pandai2 lah.

Terpengaruh

2010-03-18T22:33:00.009+08:00

Akibat byk sgt tgk NITRO CIRCUS... I, Siti Syakirah Aminuddin

fell in love with this car

Subaru Impreza Hatchback

and motorcross, tapi sebab takot, i decided to opt for a less dangerous sport quite similar to it..

mountain biking
gonna buy one soon
Syazni promised to teman me bike haunting this weekend. weeee..

also, gonna register myself for

wakeboarding
after i settle down with my mountain biking

and finally, i'm gonna break some bones, NITRO CIRCUS style... hahaha (dream on kiera)

and owh, meet my new love

TRAVIS PASTRANA
isn't he cute? he's nuts i know but thats what makes him more adorable.

i fell in love on first sight with him since i first saw him in action in 2006. when he won gold medal for motor X freestyle best trick at Summer X games
tapi our relationship didn't last long
we went separate ways after that
n got reunited recently thanks to my Malaysian version of Travis Pastrana :)

P/S:i do have my very own Malaysian version of 'Travis Pastrana' tapi tak bole letak gambar. nanti kantoi. wakakakaka..

draft

2010-03-14T17:04:00.003+08:00

saye ade satu post yg saye simpan dalam draft
tapi tunggu je la
kalau tahap kesabaran dah melebihi 100%
dan bertukar menjadi perang dunie ke 10
baru la post itu akan di publish

i quote "i thought u have a degree. surely u hv extraordinary brain right"
yup2 sbb tu la jugak aku hold dulu post tu
kalau ko tak pasal2 attack aku lagi..
terpakse la aku lepaskan bomb nuklear :)
aku diam slame nie sbb aku malas nak layan org2 yg berperangai mcm budak2
possessive and jealous melampau tak bersebab
tuduh org suke2 hati tanpe usul periksa and fakta kukuh

ade lagi manusia mcm nie
haish
sabar je la

rurizalakmal

2010-03-14T16:13:00.003+08:00

Dear Mr. Comfort Zone,

Congratulations on ur enggagement with ur dearest gf Musfirah Shkuri. HAPPY for u :)

new day

2010-03-13T10:54:00.003+08:00

well, its been awhile since my last emotional post.
let just say. during my silent period of time, i wasn't myself
it took me quite a while to find my strength and happiness back..
after.. what had happened.
but today i can proud to say that i am back.
:)

ok let just summarize the silent period already.
ermm as u all know.. i 'broke up' with him..
but despite of all the things that i have to go thru..
to get back to what i am today..
i still have this bit feelings for him..
i'd be lying if i said that i've managed to get over him
not that quick,
esp with a guy who have been treating me so well.
makes me happy..
a guy who is my comfort zone.
but its all over now. we're friends n i'm ok with it
he's getting enggaged tomorrow.
and i'm happy for him. congrats dear.
:)

a while back i've asked a friend to help me find me a bf..
it was a joke actually
then she told me bout a friend of hers..
frankly speaking he's quite cute
tall. well build slim bod..
n he rides motocross..
aint that just... sexy?
hahahahahahahahaha
now i can hv my very own travis pastrana.. :P
n owh. thanks to him i found back my interest in xgames
i just cant stop watching nitro circus
n laugh my ass out in the middle of the nite..alone.
i'm a crazy women. i know.
n owh owh..he owns a restaurant..cute

lately i just cant get enuf of the sound of waves...
sea waves..
so instead of going to cherating..my usual peace spot..
i opt for port klang.
its nearer.. less money consuming..n i can actually hang out with ain
n eat at ladyfingers.. omg the food is soooooo freaking delicious
THE FOOD ok.. i said nothing about the guy who 'owns' the place :P
ok now im craving for the sup tulang already.
was supposed to go there last nite but my dearest big sis just wont let me
just bcoz he's not there.. haish. i want the sup tulang laaa...

ok ok better stop before i start merepeking.
daaaa

the day my heart die

2010-02-13T09:17:00.002+08:00

today, 13 feb 2010.
i've finally made my decision
of letting him go
this will be the toughest decision i've ever made
knowing the truth which i've been trying to deny all this while
hurts, real bad
and it feels like its gonna die
my heart's gonna die
i don't know how long i'm gonna take to cure myself
and will i be able to
becoz he will still however a be part of me
i might just kill the heart
but i dont have the courage to do so
i dont have what it takes to kill the sweet memories
the memories that i will cherish forever
dear God, please help this soul

friday

2010-01-19T18:44:00.001+08:00

i have dentist appointment this friday. gonna get my teeth fix...soon! yippiee..excited!!!!!

smiley!

2010-01-12T21:13:00.004+08:00

2 down

Karen Millen patchwork leather purse

HTC HD2

1 more to go

Canon EOS 500D

erk..plus one?

sony psp go

BILLABONG Pro Am & Occy Grom Comp

2010-01-12T20:53:00.003+08:00

The most beautiful and peaceful weekend i've ever had. thanks to dini n cepot for accompanying me. thanks to nas n zarin as well for being great local hosts. it was a really fun photo session, melantak, membuta n melepak weekend.

note: thanks to my comfort zone n wan for the camera!!!

my representative

2009-12-20T21:51:00.003+08:00

Song of the day
Jack Savoretti - Without
The words to this song represents how i feel. literally.
a song dedicated to him.

I've Been Walking In This Road
Time Passing Me By
Letting Go Of What I Couldn't Hold
Finding Places To Hide

I've Been Watching You Closely
Every Move That You Make
And All The Things You've Showed To Me
Are Getting Harder To Take

I Wish That We Could Begin From The Start
I Pray That I Could Be Brave Enough
To Show You How Easily I Fall Apart
I Can't Let You Know
That I Can't Let It Show
'Cause I'd Rather Be Without Than Be Without You

I Guess I Feel Like A Stranger
When It Comes Down To Love
I'm Too Aware of The Danger
That It Can Bring Upon Us

I Wish That We Could Begin From The Start
I Pray That I Could Be Brave Enough
To Show You How Easily I Fall Apart
I Can't Let You Know

I Wish That We Could Begin From The Start
I Pray That I Could Be Brave Enough
To Find Out If You'd Ever Give Me Your Heart
Cause You Don't Let Me Know
You Don't Let It Show
And I Want You To Know
That I'd Rather Be Without Than Without You

dc

2009-12-20T21:04:00.002+08:00

again. for the second time i feel like disconnecting myself from everyone.
from him. from my dearest friend.
I am so emotionally unstable that i lock myself in the room doing nothing but sleep.
i dont feel like eating.
i dont feel like going out even tho mim n ieka tried to pujuk me.
i shout at my own sister over a small thing.
i ignore the bebelan my mum, dad n aunt gave me regarding me not taking care of my own health.
i sms'ed him telling him that i am not in good health n mood n might not want to talk.
not him not anyone.

but the thing is. i dont even know what the hell is wrong with me.
i dont know what i feel
i dont know what i'm thinking
i dont know what i want
n i dont know what i need
i dont know what i'm mad at
i dont know what i'm sad at
it all so mixed up that i feel nothing

here i am. sulking.
creating my own drama.
in my own stupid mind world.

i am now. disconnecting.

what am i

2009-12-11T21:28:00.003+08:00

a dear friend of mine is officially a lawyer today. a few already hv master on hand. a few friends were married. a few of em already hv kids. n most of em are living their dream life.

me? i'm stuck here doing something i never thought of doing. well basically i'm working for the sake of money. even tho sometimes i do enjoy what i'm doing. its just not fully in my heart. yet. i just ended my 1 1/2 years full of lies relationship. and i'm now falling for someone i'm not supposed to. dear friends are now bz with their own responsibilities. i do not blame them. and i have nothing to think of except how boring my life is.

but wth. i'm 24. i might sound old but there's still loooong future waiting for me. ahead. n that is what i'm chasing now.

takde jawapan

2009-12-01T22:59:00.004+08:00

here i am. lying on my bed. wondering. where do i stand. he told me he missed me. but what does he really mean?

what am i to him? a friend? a potential gf to be? a substitute? or just another bitch who stupidly fall for him? regardless of what the answer might be, i am happy just being able to talk n see him once in a while. tho i wouldn't lie..i do have hope.

is there possibility that i can be his future gf? i am not sure about that. and this uncertainty.. is killing me. despite all the lies, the pretending, the drama. i know his gf still owns that special place in his heart. the gf, the purest soul, the untouchable, that he will surely kept to become his wife. but where am i in his heart? full of sins, dirtiness. i bet that i am not even close to what he's looking for. so am i just a toy for him to play with? we did things that we have no answer to. well at least i have mine but i am just not sure of his. was it my biggest mistake? i aint got no clue.

its hard

2009-11-27T18:23:00.007+08:00

its really hard when u fall for someone u're not supposed to. u just have to face the fact that the relationship is just not real. what makes it harder is when u started to have feelings towards the person. a true love feeling. a feeling that will make u sad over a small mistakes he did. a feelings that will keep u wonder on ur status in his heart. a feeling that will make u miserable.
its even harder when the relationship is a forbidden or a secret relationship. it will then turn into some sort of consequence of the 'wrong' move u make especially when u're well aware of it.
this will be the time when u'll think back of all the advise given by ur closest friend. an advise not to fall deep into it. an advise from someone who doesn't want to see u hurt. i guess its too late now. i have to finish the game i play and started.

dear life, i'm sorry for this mistake. i'm sorry that now i'm turning our life up side down. i'm sorry that i make us miserable and sad. i thought it'll end up as a happy ending. but i guess i was wrong. i fall deep into it and now we have to pay the price. i am truly sorry

Early was the morn, flowers filled with dew,
I became somebody, through loving you.
Softly as a child, born in natural rain,
I predict the seasons, to go unchanged.

Sometimes in life,
You run across a love unknown,
Without a reason, it seems like you, belong.
Hold on Dear Life,
Don't go off running from what's new,
I became somebody, through loving you.

Warm was the sun, that covered my body so.
Reminded me of you, as I'd first known.
Those were tha days, the days, that changed my life, and made me knew,
I became somebody, through loving you.

Sometimes in life,
You run across a love unknown,
Without a reason, it feels like you, belong.
Hold on Dear Life,
Don't go off running from what's new,
I became somebody, through loving you.

As the sun shine, down on me,
I know with you in love is where I wanna be,
Sometimes, I go on through life,
thinking that love is something that's not meant for me,

Somebody, somebody.

Hold on dear life,
Don't go off running from what?s new,
I became somebody, through loving you.
I became somebody, through loving you.
Oh, I became somebody, through loving you.

Karen Millen

2009-11-27T17:43:00.003+08:00

Finally.. this baby is mine

Karen Millen Leather Patchwork Long Purse
rp at RM449

comfort

2009-11-21T15:03:00.003+08:00

i just want to be happy. dat is all i'm asking for. i might hv took the wrong 'door' but at least i'm satisfied. satisfied that i am finally happy n free. but it dissapoints me that people i love to share my moments wit seems to disapprove.
i know what i'm doing is wrong. u can blame me. but just dont take it on my comfort zone. as i said tons n tons of time.. its my choice.
i know most of u r trying to be concern. trying to advise me the best way u can so that i will not end up hurting. but all i can say is... i am not hurt. at least for now. n i will try my best not to as i've already had my mind fix.
for the final time. just pls.. let me live my happy life. pray for my happiness. thats all i'm asking for.
if this was not meant to be then let God show it.. one day..

p/s: dear God. if u think the happiness that i am feeling now is not mine.. now or in the future. pls take my feelings away. so that i wont be drag into it too deeply. i beg u.

2009-10-23T21:59:00.006+08:00

sambungan post takde tajuk. tak paham aku ngan manusie zaman skrg nie

PARIS HILTON
first of all. kalau dah sah2 bukan paris hilton sile la berenti je berangan. being the IT person is not always the best thing in life. tak semestinye ko lawa. ko kaye. org nak kat ko. dont forget..manusia diiringi syaitan all the time. depan ko maybe die ckp "u're so beautiful.. owh.. bestnye kawan ngan u.. u baik" fuck that.. seriously. u will never know what people are talking behind ur back. and owh.. tak payah la bersungguh2 sgt nak buat diri popular / attention seeker. buat org gelak lagi ade lah. bak kate pepatah 'less is more' so pls stop trying. huduh nampak. u might ckp org sekeliling yg create attention.. tapi.. cermin la diri sendiri dulu.

to those yg sentiase rase diri die lawa.. pls.. pretty people dont brag about being pretty. yes confident tu kene ade.. tapi terover confident pon satu hal jugak. make terjadi lah incident dimane hamba2 Allah nie rase die mcm paris hilton (writer's note: lagi skali). nak menunjuk sane sini. get a life. perut tak lawa sile la jgn nak perasan flat dengan memakai crop shirt/jacket, half tube and pakaian2 yg menunjukkan perut anda. ade perut mcm jesica alba or gwen steffani baru tunjuk ok.

pakai pink tak bermakne anda paris hilton enuf. dan berpakaian seksi juga tak bermakne anda hot. silelah berpakaian appropriately. n kalau ade event invitation ke ape.. contoh.. birthday. name pon birthday.. so tolooong la jangan over dari birthday girl/boy tu sendiri. tak kuaseeee nak layan org suke carik attention lebih nie. adoiii!..tapi kalau kat event invitation tu sendiri suruh mengoverkan diri. silelah. takde org nak halang. (writer's note: dalam erti kate lain. tgk tmpt dulu kalau nak over pon)

sile jgn mengaku tau semua bende kalau mmg ko tu dumb blonde. lawa lebih tapi tak tau pape. pls. zaman modern. ade internet. gune la. buat penat je spend duit beribu2 beli hp canggih.. beli laptop canggih kalau tak gune. lame. blaja tinggi2 tapi ape pon takde. ayooo..plg kelakar bile org ajak sembang... ko goreng bukan main..padahal tak tau pape.. n mmg sah2 salah.tapi org tu tak nak malukan ko die buat senyap... adehhhh... pastu satu hal kalau menyalah gunekan kecantikan n kekayaan (writer's note: kononnye.. ) utk goda org lain n mintak tolong. wah wah wah..senang idop. usaha tangge kejayaan. org lain berusaha ko yg berjaye. mmg tak dpt jack! u'll have to pay for it sampai mase nanti. nothing is free in this world

eh bateri nak abes..nanti sambung.

heart

2009-10-18T22:22:00.005+08:00

i might be old
i might be fat

i might be weak
i might not be rich
i might not be intelligent
i might not be pretty
i might not have the most generous heart
i might not have the nicest personality

i might not have enough experience to face the world

i am just ME
i have feelings

i have a heart

and i feel love

please don't take it away from me

smiley

2009-10-11T12:51:00.000+08:00

i am HAPPIER than ever

Tonight I Wanna Cry

2009-10-10T08:50:00.001+08:00

Alone in this house again tonight
I got the TV on, the sound turned down and a bottle of wine
Theres pictures of you and I on the walls around me the way that it was and should have been surrounds me
I'll never get over you walkin' away

Well I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with my pride
Let it fall like rain, from my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry.

Would it help if i turned a sad song on
"All by Myself" would sure hit me hard, now that you're gone
Or maybe unfold some old yellow lost love letters
It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better
But I'll never get over you by hidin' this way

Cause I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with my pride
Let it fall like rain, from my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry.

oOOo

Well I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with this pride
Let it fall like rain, from my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry.

2009-10-01T09:01:00.004+08:00

tak paham aku ngan manusie zaman sekarang nie.

*talam 2 muke (writer's note: talam pon lagi cantik)

dgn manusie2 yg diorg rapat (slalunye perangai lebih kurang) bukan main baik lagi. puji sane sini.. jadi tmpt luah perasaan.. sharing is caring la kononnye. ber 'syg' 'babe' 'girl' 'bro'. beli hadiah sane sini.. tapi kat blakang or kalau da tak suke. masyaAllah. perangai jadi lagi hina dari syaitan..

kalau da tak suke tu dok diam2. tak payah nak tambah lagi dose yg mmg dah ade. tak baik mendajal org. tapi kalau da igt diri tu bagus sgt sile la buat lagi. bole derma pahala kat org2 tak berdosa. and kalau makan dajal sendiri jgn nak mintak maaf. maafmu tak diterime.

*tak reti tepati mase (writer's note: jam diorg rosak agaknye)

paaaaallllliiingggg pantang ngan org tak tepati mase. kalau da janji tu ikot je la. make sure time tu da ready. nie tak. dah sampai waktu senyap..then mintak tunde pastu dah tunde pon lambat jugak. ade case yg bole membuatkan naik angin tu..sampai terus cancel sbb die tukar plan. last minute.

untuk pengetahuan anda..org lain pn ade plan. u're not a king or queen. bole tunggu2..tunde or cancel suke2 hati n org tak marah. kalau 15 min tu dimaafkan lagi la..tapi kalau dah sampai sejam.. n everytime pon mcm tu.. maaf la weh. gi dok negare lain. sampai bile pon ko tak maju kalau mcm nie.

*friends for purpose (writer's note: pentingkan diri sendiri)

mempergunekan kwn dlm senyap utk kepentingan diri sendiri.

contoh: A takde kereta. B ade kereta. mereka merupakan officemate. utk menyenangkan A dia akan mengajak B kemana sahaja yang dia nak pegi dgn alasan nak buat kerja sama2. tapi end up B yg isi minyak. B yg bayar tol. siap kadang2 suruh jumpe kat tmpt yg mmg dah out of the way dari tmpt sbnr nak dituju.

utk perhatian semua A di dunia ini. gaji para B bukan rm10 ribu sebulan nak jadi tukang isi minyak n bayar tol all the time. if u beradab n berhati enuf. u would..without thinking menolong B with the duit minyak n tol. dah bagus da B nak bagi tumpang. kalau tak sile la naik cab. para B bukan personal driver korang.

banyak lagi contoh lain. tapi paham2 sendiri lah

*big fat liar (writer's note: suke idop dlm alam dongeng)

hah, nie lagi satu pantang lagi2 kalau da kantoi pastu still tak nak ngaku. first of all nak tipu tu pon tipu la betul2. nie tak. buat lain..ckp lain.. pastu cite kat A lain..cite kat B lain. nampak sgt la menipu. ape korang dpt pon menipu nie. lari dari masalah maybe la. tapi dpt dosa pon ade. so korang tak dpt ape2. coz end up. sbb korang tipu. lagi byk mslh dtg. cube bwk bincang je kan senang. dont lie if u cant be an A class liar. paling kelakar kalau tipu utk buat diri nampak very 'angelic' ..super extra baik. innocent.. n to create their own world yg tak wujud pon. adoi.

*show off (writer's note: tapi sbnrnye diorg takde ape2 n jeles)

ade separuh umat sanggup berlawan nak tunjuk sape lagi bagus. sampai kadang2 gadai diri n maruah. kalau da tak mampu tu buat care tak mampu. tak payah nak show off sgt tunjuk diri tu lagi bagus..lagi glamor... kalau dari duit sendiri takpe la jugak. nie duit mak bapak.

byk lagi sebenarnye nak list..tapi nanti la sambung

October

2009-09-30T16:43:00.003+08:00

I just wish that i could celebrate my birthday with mereka mereka ini

*ali syafiq

*syazmim

*ieka

*cepot

*emmert

*ain

*muzzammil nazri

*fasha

*mira

*irfan

*azee

*ryan

*syazni

*shafique

*dayah

*wen

*zizie

*jane

*lynn

just a simple nice dinner will do... tak mintak pon birthday grand2.. tapi tak penah dpt. susah betul nak kumpul diorg at the same time. slalu yg ade pon 2-3 org je. haish...

babi

2009-09-20T16:01:00.001+08:00

sumpah aku tak halalkan duit aku yg ko amek

dear God

2009-09-15T00:53:00.002+08:00

a few weekssss ago. i was so pissed i pray to God..

"sesungguhnya aku mohon padaMu. tunjukkanlah mereka kebenaran. aku mohon supaya Kau berikanlah mereka dugaan sama seperti yang kau berikan padaku. berikanlah petunjuk sekiranya Kau rasa aku teraniaya. "

ckp la lagi aku gune sakit utk dpt attention. aku mmg suke

happy ramadhan

2009-09-11T01:39:00.005+08:00

fumbler kesayangan

gadis kesayangan

mim, azee, syazni, mira

english teacher kesayangan

the family

moon, azee, mira, cipan, mim, sternz, (photog: syazni)

sista

my adiks

cepot, ieka

cikgu account

laywer kesayangan

cik 'kepoh' kesayangan

mangse bahan kesayangan

business mind partner kesayangan

convent girls rawks!

yana, wen, dayah (photog: paz)

oh lord

2009-09-09T13:46:00.000+08:00

u are so pathetic. hahahaha. seriously go get a better life. u ain't worth even a quarter million sec of my time

Holidaysssss!!!

2009-09-04T15:13:00.002+08:00

Cherating (December) - Bandung (March) - United Kingdom (December)

and somewhere else in between. Yieppieee

Insyaallah

po po po po poker face

2009-09-01T09:32:00.004+08:00

i can only laugh at u sucker. hahahaahahha... ade lagi manusia2 mcm nie rupenye kat dunie nie. depan baik gile. pijak semut pon tak mati. blakang, mulut ...masyaAllah. sudah2 la tu. dah cukup bagus da aku diam. tak kuase nak layan org2 tak sedar diri. buang tenage. cermin diri tu dulu sblm ckp pasal org lain. i'm a time bomb waiting to explode. tapi aku sabar lagi. sbb aku tak nak jadi mcm ko. dah la perangai mcm tu.. pastu living in denial pulak tu. isk isk. berlagak happy when u're actually not. LAME! pegi la ko ngan idop penuh penipuan ko tu. satu bakteria pon aku tak luak. menyampah lagi ade. ape2 pon. thanks la. sbb ko, aku dah jumpe hidup aku. i certainly dont need u. hidup aku dah cukup lengkap dgn happy family, loving bf and friends. n owh. thanks for being 'concern' about my life. hahaha.. lain kali tak payah la susah2. make sure life ko tu perfect dulu before nak ckp pasal org lain. k. hahahaha..

what a day

2009-08-30T22:53:00.001+08:00

"you are allowed to be relieved from ur job"

no comment

True Blood

2009-08-29T20:55:00.003+08:00

anyone who read my post here watch True Blood? OMG. its like my newest obsession. i'm so addicted to the series as if i'm glued to the laptop. its not the typical drama where human kills the demons, vampires watsoever..and jadi hero.. there's always twist in it.. if u think u know what the next scene might be.. u're dead wrong.. the series is totally unexpected. u will be eager to know what will happen next. and anna paquin is damn good. u go girl!! this is seriously better than twilight. damnnN!~ i'm currently waiting for my season 2 episode 9 and 10 to load. cant wait for the last 3!! omg omg..>!!!!!! i love this shiiiittttt..>!

the pissed post

2009-08-27T22:28:00.005+08:00

i am so freaking pissed rite now i just wanna curse the hell out of me..so here we go..

u just get the hell out of my freaking face coz i aint gonna freaking talk to u fucking dumb ass shit. just go n grab ur stupid shit n lay it on someone else who doesnt have anymore purpose in life. u aint worth my fucking time. u just aint worth it. i aint longer gonna be ur middle person. i aint longer gonna save ur butt.. i aint gonna b the place for u to shit ur anger on. i aint gonna b the person u share ur fucking stories with. i aint gonna be that person anymore. fucking hell no. until u figure out what u've done i aint gonna speak a fucking shit out of my mouth. so if u have anymore probs find another human that u can fuck ur life on. i'm out.

lain kali

2009-08-25T20:29:00.001+08:00

jgn tulis je kat status. kalau betul nak maki hamun n tampar. buat je.

self gift birthday present

2009-08-25T11:30:00.010+08:00

i am currently on a search for the perfect birthday gift for myself. i have a few on my list now.. but having a tough time deciding which one to get. thank God there's still 2 months to go.

1. ED HARDY (loving the tattoo design)

*Womens "koi" Embroidered Track Jacket in White (shown above)

*Unisex Gladiator Collection Watch "till death" (couldnt find the pics online)

*Women's "tiger collage" Los Feliz High Rise Shoes in Black (couldnt fine the pics online)

2. PASTRYKICKS (loving the colorful shoes)

*Ice Glam Pie Hie Boot

*Mixed Berry Glam Pie Hi

*Blueberry Glam Pie Boot

*Purple Lava Pastry Shoes

*Mixed Berry Vulc Pastry Shoes

3. Handphone

*Blackberry Storm

*Nokia e71

*Blackberry Bold

*Nokia 5800

4. Holiday

*3D2N holiday at Hard Rock Hotel Penang

choose kiera choose.. damnN!~

i want

2009-08-16T18:41:00.002+08:00

this freaking awesome baby

Stealth Macbook Pro

a regular 15" MacBook Pro (3.06GHz Intel Core 2 Duo processor, 8GB RAM, 256GB solid-state drive, 8X superdrive) but with a soft, smooth-textured, zero-gloss black finish protecting your computer from both fingerprints and scratches. The backlit keyboard now glows in blue too, nice touch.

There’s only 10 of these ninja macbooks available though and the price? USD $6000

MTV World Stage

2009-08-16T15:26:00.003+08:00

rawks my ass off!!!!
and
Tyson AAR is one hell of a sex! grrrrr!!

ira à

2009-08-14T20:05:00.002+08:00

demain!!!!

Friday

2009-08-13T09:50:00.003+08:00

Cardiac Screening Test
Registration & Report
Consultation By Physician
Chest X-Ray
ECG
Lab Test Comprising:
Blood Glucose

wish me luck

update: called apsh. the women from premier health screening department ask me to go straight to see a cardiologist. haish. wish i have the moolah. mahal la wehhhhhh...

Stroke

2009-08-11T16:53:00.005+08:00

Stroke is a medical emergency. Know these warning signs of stroke and teach them to others. Every second counts:

Sudden numbness or weakness of the face, arm or leg, especially on one side of the body *check*
Sudden confusion, trouble speaking or understanding
Sudden trouble seeing in one or both eyes *check*
Sudden trouble walking, dizziness, loss of balance or coordination *check*
Sudden, severe headache with no known cause *check*

If you or someone with you has one or more of these signs, don't delay! Immediately call 9-1-1 or the emergency medical services (EMS) number so an ambulance (ideally with advanced life support) can be sent for you. Also, check the time so you'll know when the first symptoms appeared. It's very important to take immediate action. If given within three hours of the start of symptoms, a clot-busting drug called tissue plasminogen activator (tPA) can reduce long-term disability for the most common type of stroke. tPA is the only FDA-approved medication for the treatment of stroke within three hours of stroke symptom onset.

A TIA or transient ischemic attack is a "warning stroke" or "mini-stroke" that produces stroke-like symptoms but no lasting damage. Recognizing and treating TIAs can reduce your risk of a major stroke. The usual TIA symptoms are the same as those of stroke, only temporary. The short duration of these symptoms and lack of permanent brain injury is the main difference between TIA and stroke.

p/s: dont ask me why i'm posting this.

Graduation

2009-08-09T11:42:00.000+08:00

Can u spot me?

scroll

2009-08-06T12:00:00.005+08:00

after almost 1 yr of waiting, holiday-ing, working, resigning, holiday again and working again, i, SITI SYAKIRAH BINTI AMINUDDIN, will finally and officially graduate this saturday with a degree in Business Administration (hons) majoring in Management.

note: i am not that happy tho. everything i planned for graduation have been cancelled. my graduation gateway esp which i dah plan since last month. frustrating. very frustrating coz i'm really looking foward to it. and it seems like no one is available during my graduation day. what a great way to celebrate the graduation..kan.

Attention

2009-08-04T13:10:00.001+08:00

i'm deactivating myself from fb, ms, twitter, n blog. i will also terminate my number.. so long people. thanks for everything.

p/s: to ali. i luv u. i am so sorry. bye. take a good care of urself.

stress stress hate hate

2009-07-31T02:19:00.003+08:00

i hate being asked to do something at the very last minute esp when it involves higher ranking people. n i hate being 'blank' and unprepared. to me first impression is very important. i dont wanna go there with nothing. that is not good for my reputation.. i just hate itttt... and i dont wanna kena bambu for things that is not my fault. i wasnt informed. sigh!!! im freaking stresssss!!!

Juice 7th Birthday Party

2009-07-30T22:34:00.003+08:00

"You got your neons and sunnies ready? It’s gonna be an off the hook Friday night tomorrow when JUICE 7th Birthday party takes place at Euphoria with some of the hottest acts in town. With the theme ‘Future So Bright’, you’re in for a wicked night. Joey G will be on hand as MC because we love him so. Let’s tear the roof off this sucker."

IT'S TIME TO PARTYYYY!!

my human obsession.

2009-07-30T09:38:00.012+08:00

thanks to these people, my life is just so darn perfect. they're nuts. yes. but at least they're sincere in whatever they're thinking and saying. they will just disagree with me whenever i am wrong and tell it straight to my face. they will cheer me up whenever i'm down. they will drag me along to do all sorts of crazy stuff just the get me hype. i just love em so much.

ieka
my lil crazy adik. my gossip and crime partner

(6 yrs)

syazmim
my bff. my spokeperson
(1 yr)

ain
my crazy kakak
(9 months)

emmet
my brother. my advisor
(8 yrs)

mira
my gossip partner. my image consultant :)
(6 months)

ryan
my dearly cute godson
(3 months)

jane
my crazy friend. gossip partner. my shoulder to cry on
(4 months)

cepot
my best guy friend
(2 yrs)

cipan
my hell of a crazy friend. my rocking dude
(1 yr)

last but not least

MUHAMMAD ALI SYAFIQ
my everything
(2 yrs)

clothes clothes and clothes

2009-07-29T11:00:00.004+08:00

my new cardi

my new skirt

my new jacket

I'm loving it

p/s: thanks meera n kak benn from PHT

http://iamprettyhappythings.blogspot.com

hmmm...

2009-07-28T11:25:00.005+08:00

i have never once bitch about u
i have never once disrespect u
i have not even talked bout u to my other friends
i dont know what u've heard about me
but its up to u to judge
so long my dear friend

sad

2009-07-28T10:11:00.002+08:00

i dont know whats wrong with my friends anymore. n its heartbreaking when they started to talk to u like that. it is seriously heartbreaking. esp when it comes to the person u least expected.

bling bling

2009-07-27T22:31:00.006+08:00

was at pavvy with my girlfriends when i receive sms from sayang

ali syafiq: i'm otw to switzerland now dear. i miss u laaaaaaa.
me: miss u too syg. bli ape utk bby? blk la cpt!!
ali syafiq: bracelet swarovski/cincin Tiffany & co. tak tau lgnak beli mane sbb tak sampai lagi switz. hehe
me: tau ke size i nak beli cincin? i luv u
ali syafiq: tak tau. tp i nak gune ukuran jari mama/adik. i luv u too yayang
me: eh jgn. jap i gi check kat jewelery shop

then me n mim went to De Gems to ask whether they have the ring size checker thingy. i was so freaking cuak (mcm nak kawin dowh..padahal nak check size je.. jalan2 depan shop byk kali tapi tak masuk2...sampai sales exec tu dtg dkt to approach) but unfortunetly they dont. so i ask the sales exec whether tiffany & co has it or not. n he said yes..so i went straight to tiffany & co with mim.
kat tiffany & co lain pulak cerita. i was standing in front of tiffany & co, freaking scared to go in. i went speechless n crazyly jumping outside of the boutique. after 10 mins of hearing mim bebel suruh masuk i finally went in n managed to get my ring size. hehehehe...

me: syg i da check ring size. mine is 4.5 or 5.. depends on the design. pls check urs as well**

**jeng jeng jeng..

p/s: can i have Tiffany & Co Note "I Love You" Sterling??? puhlezzzzzz

no no no

2009-07-26T17:35:00.001+08:00

my PTD exam will b on the same date as my graduation
sobs!!!

owh pay check.

2009-07-26T17:27:00.003+08:00

this are the things that i need to get/pay for with my coming paycheck.

1. marc jacobs handbag
2. vintage skirt
3. vintage jacket
4. marc jacobs shades (tak tau lagi nak beli ke tak)
5. graduation dinner dress
6. graduation holiday
7. ptptn
8. internet bill
9. hp bill
10. house phone bill
11. irfan's bday present
12. sayang's birthday
13. girl's night out

and the list goes on..
haish..pokai

someone is away for euro trip

2009-07-25T01:38:00.004+08:00

and im stuck here.. MISSING him

my huggable huggy bear

oh my freaking shit!!!

2009-07-25T00:21:00.006+08:00

i shout like a crazy dumbass bitch in my room in the middle of the night because of this two vid. oh my freaking god.. i cant wait for november to come. those 2 bloody hot bods.. rawwwrrrr!!!

freaking crazyly lucky bella.. i hate u!!

and owh..another one bloody hawt hunk
Baptiste Gianconi...welcome to my world

what does my mind look like?

2009-07-24T10:39:00.001+08:00

Your mind is like a Waterworld. You live fast and are impatient, when you slow down it's only to discover your next goal. You constantly look for changes and like to take chances. You have big demands for yourself and are very creative. Some people are scared of you, cause you dont smile much. But your closest ones know that you can be the nicest person in this world

piskatri

2009-07-23T10:19:00.003+08:00

i've been really busy for the past 2 weeks.
work. event. work. friends. work. lepak. work. clubbing. work. travel here n there. and not forgetting the boyfie too.

i've been sleeping over at ieka's place alot lately.
girls talk baby!!
and owh. alot of eating, restaurant city, singing rock kapak songs, and also lepaking until late nite.

now i miss my bff...cepot, jane and my lil adik...ieka

it has been a few days since the boyfie went to europe for euro tour with the fam
miss talking to him
miss scolding him
miss manje2 with him (hhahahahaha sumpah malu seh)
miss talking crap with him
miss him accompanying me to sleep
miss him wishing me good nite n good morning
miss HIM

DATES

2009-07-07T19:35:00.004+08:00

8th of August 2009
Graduation

10th of August 2009
Ali Syafiq balik Malaysia

14th -16th of August 2009
My graduation holiday!!

-end-

2009-06-26T16:37:00.005+08:00

hati aku pecah seribu
tiada lagi tangis
tiada lagi tawa
aku sudah tidak terlarat lagi
penat sudah mengharungi semua ini
akan aku pergi jauh
jauh dari segalanya
maaf..

terima kasih atas pengorbanan dan kasih sayang

R.I.P Mikaeel Jackson

2009-06-26T15:43:00.005+08:00

Another day has gone
I'm still all alone
How could this be
You're not here with me
You never said goodbye
Someone tell me why
Did you have to go
And leave my world so cold

Everyday I sit and ask myself
How did love slip away
Something whispers in my ear and says
That you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay

But you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
But you are not alone

'Lone, 'lone
Why, 'lone

Just the other night
I thought I heard you cry
Asking me to come
And hold you in my arms
I can hear your prayers
Your burdens I will bear
But first I need your hand
Then forever can begin

Everyday I sit and ask myself
How did love slip away
Something whispers in my ear and says
That you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay

For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
For you are not alone

Whisper three words and I'll come runnin'
And girl you know that I'll be there
I'll be there

You are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay
For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart

For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay

For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart

For you are not alone...

p/s: wish i could follow u to that one place where peace and true love are the only thing u could feel. a place where HE awaits and we belong.

kepadaMu aku berserah.

2009-06-26T14:47:00.008+08:00

aku penat. penat kene tipu. penat kene pujuk diri sendiri. penat tahan telinga org lain bising and nasihat. aku buat bodoh sbb aku sayang die. tapi ape aku dpt? hati yang SAKIT.

aku dah tak tau nak buat ape. aku dah tak tau nak pikir ape. aku terase nak pergi jauh. jauh dari sini. satu tempat yang bole buat aku lupe. satu tempat yang aku bole heal. tempat yang aku bole mulakan hidup baru. tapi dimana?? aku tak jumpa jumpa sampai skrg.

"Ya Allah. maafkanlah hamba mu ini. maafkan segala kesalahanku yang pernah aku lakukan. aku mohon padamu, kuatkanlah hatiku, bersihkanlah hatiku, tenangkanlah fikiranku, dekatkanlah aku padaMU. aku mohon. aku sudah tidak tertahan. tunjukkanlah jalan menuju kepadaMU. satu satunya yang aku sayang. yang aku cinta. kepadaMu aku berserah"

wehhhh!!

2009-06-23T17:19:00.001+08:00

cukup cukup lah tu!!!

2009-06-20T01:14:00.000+08:00

i freaking hate this week. i hate u lot!!!!

terima kasih. dan maaf

2009-06-19T19:02:00.004+08:00

walaupun indirectly...
kau ckp kau respect aku sbb bole tahan long distance relationship
kau ckp kau respect aku sbb bole sabar lame tak jumpe
tapi in the end kau jadi org ketiga.
thanks.
a million thanks walaupun aku tak kenal kau
kau telah berjaye mewujudkan perasaan insecure dlm diri aku
setelah sekian lame.

mungkin kau tau cerita die
kau tak tau cerita aku.
tapi aku tak salahkan kau
salah die jugak
dan salah aku jugak
kau hanye tersepit dlm situasi ni

thanks jugak sbb 'jage' die utk sebulan tu
thanks jugak sbb buat die rise from his downfall
thanks jugak sbb berjaye buat die jadi diri die balik
semua tu aku tak dpt nak buat
sbb ape pun tak tau
maybe sbb aku tak cukup ikhtiar kot
ntah la

pape pon.. thanks again.

maaf juga kepade yg lain2
aku tau korang marah ngan decision aku
tapi tak leh nak buat ape
walaupun mcm2 dah jadi
maybe sbb aku buang tak cukup jauh kot
dek kerane masih mengharap
mungkin?
maaf.

yang datang dan pergi. mungkinkah akan kembali?

2009-06-16T15:47:00.003+08:00

rakan datang dan pergi. itu benar
tapi kenape yg datang dan pergi itu perlu dlm situasi yg menyedihkan, menyiksakan.
tatkala itu yg kita pikirkan terbaik,
mereka katakan kita yg salah, kita yg mendusta,
that we're the one backstabing the friendship.
pernahkah mereka mendalami situasi yg berlaku or yg telah terjadi
pernahkah mereka meletakkan diri mereka in our shoes and bygkan apa yg akan mereka lakukan and feel sekiranya mereka di tempat kita.
it will be more or less the same. mungkin.
tapi kita manusia, bukan Tuhan. no one is perfect.
"salah aku mungkin sbb tak larat nak pertahankan friendship yg lebih kepada situasi menang kalah."
mereka tidak perasan. kerana mereka pikir diri sendiri. tak pikir org lain.
mereka dgr cerita satu pihak. berat sebelah kan tu.
"tapi mungkin salah aku juga. kerana tak pernah berkata apa pasal cerita yg satu ini.
kerana aku tak nak mengaibkan. yg sudah tu sudah lah.
mereka nak ambil semua kawan2. ambil lah.
aku redha dgn hidup yg baru.
dan ternyata apa yg aku katakan itu betul
kau lebih bahagia begini."
tahniah.

cinta juga pergi.
tidak tahu bila akan kembali
segalanya telah ku beri
tetapi sepertinya masih belum cukup
penat juga jadinya
mengharapkan sesuatu yg tidak pasti
especially bila yg berusahanya hanyalah satu
tapi sekali lagi aku redha
biar masa yg tentukan.

salahkah aku mempunyai perasaan
salahkah aku mempunyai harapan
bukannya aku bole menghalang apa di hati
semuanya lahir dengan sendiri
tidak ku tahu bila terjadi
sungguh.
aku tidak mengharapkan apa2
cukup sekadar dpt bertanya kabar
aku cuba musnahkan
yes i did
tapi disbbkan sikap kau yg sungguh unpredictable, feelingless
and tahap curiosity kau yg sgt tinggi
aku jadi tidak tahu
tidak tahu apa sebenarnya yg kau mahu
lalu aku jadi hidup terumbang ambing
memikirkan.
aku tidak mintak dipilih
apa lagi menjadi last option
or to be kept as security
owh tidak.
cukuplah setakat ini.
aku mengundurkan diri.
tapi aku masih ingin diberi peluang bertanya kabar
masih adakah peluang itu?

fuck u

2009-06-13T08:22:00.000+08:00

now face my inner bitch u homosapiens

26 - 28th of June 2009

2009-06-08T12:14:00.002+08:00

cherating again????

i'm gonna go for another vacation end of this month
maybe alone..backpacking
or with friends..

and next month.. off for company trip
pls pls pls be cherating!!! hahahahah

jay jays

2009-06-03T21:22:00.006+08:00

my cousin just got back from melby
and she bought me this cause i asked her too!
hahahahaha
thanks lil cuzzie

sekarang

2009-06-02T20:32:00.000+08:00

saye manusia bekerjaya

2009-06-01T11:48:00.002+08:00

omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg
omg!!!

i love edward.. but jacob!! omfg!! he is so damn freaking HAWT!!!!

lupe la pulak (30th May)

2009-06-01T10:58:00.001+08:00

happy birthday MAMA
&
selamat pengantin baru to IMMA and JAY

yesterday...

2009-06-01T08:49:00.005+08:00

woke up early n off to weddings
i was the first to siap
n everybody was..impressed
hahahahahaha

it was so bored yesterday
after balik kenduri..
i went online as usual..
then.. time to charge the batery
before my sis dtg to claim her adapter back

i went downstairs to watch tv
nothing interesting pun
so i pun menelipon beesya
gossip gossip gossip
told her about my graduation gateway thingy
n she told me about something
mwahahahaha..fishy fishy

went back online
(sumpah takde life dah aku nie)
online online online n online
then jane call.. after i asked her to
we gayut like a happy couple
gossip gossip gossip
for more than 1 hour i guess
hahaha.. sorry babe..this is what happen when my phone got barred
i cant call back!!
after a while.. me feeling sleepy.. jane pun ckp merepek
we decided to end the call
n i then went to get my beauty sleep

when suddenly
at 2.30am
jane call!!!
amoiiiI! i'm sleeping laaahhhh
so we talk talk talk
had the most fun ketul talk n tummy talk ever (go figure)
till its about 3.30am
n off to sleep again.

n owh. women (whom i dont even know)...
who the hell r u to say things like that
u havent met us..n we havent met u
stop saying things that make us look like we're the most evil person on earth
come on.. why on earth r we going to serang u?
just because he had a crush on u.. plus our situation
doesnt mean that we are going to serang u
wake up wake up
we're not some kampung girl yg akan serang other women for a guy
that is so stupid man!! very kampung!!!
if i want to serang.. i would have serang my friend long time ago
yet until now she is one of my good friend yg i can just be stupid with
have some TUMMY talk n KETUL talk at 3 am in the morning...
gile la weiiiI!
we dont even know whether u exist or not
we dont even know what ur relationship with him is like
n the most important thing that im going to repeat again
WE DONT EVEN KNOW U
so stop talking behind our back
coz we havent said anything about u and pls dont get us started!

august oh august

2009-05-31T18:53:00.004+08:00

most of u might know my current addiction towards cherating
i know.. i too have no idea why
the place is so...
i wouldnt say breathtaking.. but peacefull

i've been longing to go to cherating again lately
n been bugging my friends to go there
n to ajak me there if they ever think of going
but suddenly i have this .. brilliant idea
of having my very own graduation gateway
since my graduation will held somewhere in august
so.. i can just pick one weekend
n go there.. have fun..with bunch of good friends
genius.. i know
n it'll give me some time to kumpul my money.
weeehuuuu!!

anybody wanna join???

proposed date: 28-31 august (one long weekend i know. like i said..genius)

i cant wait.. i cant wait..
hope things go smoothly

when..will

2009-05-31T16:22:00.002+08:00

someone dedicate this song to me?

i want this to be my wedding song as well
sobs sobs sobs

love look at me now

2009-05-30T14:21:00.003+08:00

another great song
another dedication
to you know who you are

i spent nights, waiting for you
staring out the window by my bed
these street lights
so unkind to shine upon the emptiness instead

i hang my head
i'm down but i'm not giving up on you just yet
love, look at me now
what is this feeling people talk about?
love, look at me now
you don't know how lng i've been holding out
for you love, look at me now

some people take you for granted
softly as you crept into their hearts
not me though
just don't leave me stranded
here with no one in my arms

i'll do my part
i'll stand out in the rain
i'll cry out in the dark

love, look at me now
what is this feeling people talk about?
love, look at me now
you dont know how long i've been holding out for you love
i make your every wish, my command
if you were drowning, i would bring you back
back to land

where do i begin?
i'm ready to jump in

love, look at me now
i've heard so many perfect things about you
love, look at me now
maybe you're just a shadow of a doubt

love, where have you been?
i wanna fall in, i'm never coming out
for you, love, look at me now
look at me now

i spent nights, waiting for you
staring out the window by my bed

yahoooo!

2009-05-30T13:39:00.003+08:00

hello people.
as usual. its my 'i dont know dah brape' boring saturday at home
i woke up at 9 this morning.
wishing my mum was at home..to wish her happy bday
yup.. today's my mum's birthday
HAPPY BDAY MAMA!!

i was having sore hand. i dont know why
i couldnt luruskan my hand
it was so damn painfull
and my tummy muscle cramp pulak dah hilang

aktiviti harini lebih kepada aktiviti seorang manusia yg da tak tau nak buat ape dgn hidup
woke up. bathe. makan. read newspaper. watch tv n online
n then my sis ajak me to teman her to jusco to buy present for our family good friend yg anak die nak kawin harini.
so saye dgn baik hatinye meneman kakak saye ke jusco

jalan2 mencari hadiah then we went to watson.
haaa.. mmg silap
ade RIMMEL disitu
saye pon dgn laju terus ke rimmel counter
with my puppy face.. holding the mascara ive been craving for so long
n my sis dgn laju nye meng-grab one of the compact powder..
i was testing the mascara for dont know how many times dah (again)
then buat muke sedih
my sis then pegi jalan tempat lain to get some other stuff.. then saw me at the rimmel counter STILL. hahahahahaha
then she said the most magical word ever 'kalau nak amek je la'
wuhuuuu..the sad puppy terus menjadi happy!!!!
this is my 3rd rimmel make up at the moment. looking foward for more!!
definetly!!!

n owh. thank u sis. i love u very much (geezz.. i cant believe i just said that:P )

takde mood nak ckp proper language.

2009-05-28T18:20:00.002+08:00

kenape la orang laki ni kan.. very unpredictable
dah la unpredictable..weird summore
memening kan kepale betul.
memule baik. rapat bukan main (sehingga menimbulkan syak wasangka)
pastu menghilang tiba2
some of em sgt nak jage name they dont care bout nething else
termasuk la feelings diri sendiri dan org sekeliling.
some of em pulak sanggup menipu to avoid things/situation/someone
"honesty is the best policy" lah wei. tak penah dgr ke?
some of em gak merajuk kalah perempuan.
pastu suke pikir mcm2
pikir tu satu hal.. bende serious die anggap not important
bende tak important tu die anggap serious
bende tak betul die ckp betul.. vice versa
cant u just...go get a grip n be a proper homo sapien for god's sake

i know im not perfect myself. but come on. god created u to lead mankind
to lead womenkind. lead us. we WOMEN ade feelings jugak. not a robot or a computer bole delete or ESC suke2 hati. oleh itu pahamilah perasaan para wanita.

"be a man. do the right thing"

p/s: hanyalah luahan perasaan. tak relevan lansung.

with youuuuuu....

2009-05-26T10:53:00.004+08:00

i wish i know whats wrong with me
with my sudden lost of apetite
with my drastic weight lost
with my short breath
with my easily tired body
with my super functioning brain (fnally its functioning!! yesss!!)
with my 'i dont really care' attitude
with my instant crave to get married (i know..crazy!!)
with my 'break my heart i dont feel a thing' feeling
with my super baik-ness to help my mum in the kitchen

why ooo why!!?????

just another dedication

2009-05-26T09:54:00.002+08:00

i think i've post this song while back
but nemind. im posting it again.

:)

a love story

2009-05-25T15:45:00.004+08:00

Sad Love Story

click on the link above to read the story.

my kesayangan

2009-05-24T16:34:00.004+08:00

surat terbuka

2009-05-22T06:55:00.009+08:00

setelah di-trigger oleh perasaan ingin muntah dan sakit perut yg amat sangat serta migrain yg boleh mengakibatkan meletusnya perang star wars.. saye.. siti syakirah binti aminuddin...

telah menulis surat dibawah ini dalam keadaan sedar dan waras untuk tatapan manusia2 yg sepatutnya

i was not myself for the past 1 1/2 weeks
im sorry to those who're affected by it
i didnt mean it
i was in so much pressure.. that i lost control of my own emotions n feelings n also stupid brain.
saye secare terbuka meminta maaf kepada kalian semua yg secara tidak lansung telah terkena tempias emo saye. ye, saye mengaku sekali lagi saye emo!

jane: im so sorry that i sumehow loose my temper on u. well kinda. u've been very kind all along. i felt guilty. im so sorry.

lynn: sorry u kene layan my calls like every 5 mins.. walaupun i takde bende nak ckp. just to kacau u. hahahah.. habis la phone bill i. n its becoming ur habit to miss call i everytime pon! mangkuk hayun tul.

mim: sorry that i cite semua2 kat u.kesian u kene dgr. n u jadi middle person. merangkap counselor. but u did managed to help me find myself back. thank u alot. i dont know what i'll do without u. since u're the only person who knows me inside n out. i guess we're equal now. 0-0

appy: sorry that i sumehow let my emo-ish feeling affect our friendship (if u think we have one). n i sumehow drag it to become something yg tak sepatutnye jadi. i'm so sorry n i hope we can become good friend. i miss the appy yg suke kacau2 i. kacau la i lagi..kacau. i ketuk kepale u. no more hantu kucing hitam vid ok!!! i sepak kang.

ieka: thanks for listening lil kiddo. kesian ieka tak dilayan dtg rumah akak haritu. takpe. bulan 6 ni kite gi holiday k for ur birthday. we're going to have fun bebeh!! its ur special day!!! :)

cepot: tempat mengadu no 4. thanks budak kecik gile. i dah gile pon u nak jadi gile lagi. n owh thanks sbb teman i gi tgk julien!! mari kite wakeboard lepas ini. n yes im dead serious about it. sanggup tangguh beli camera dlu.

adrian: my very very very good friend. thanks for sticking with me walaupun im not in my best condition. u never fail to teman me whenever i need u n always cheer me up. 7 yrs of friendship never stop us to sayang each other walaupun i slalu hilang. hahahaha..

sape lagi ah

along: thanks kerane menjadi peneman setia di alam maya. sorry slalu kacau u buat keje. heeeeee

wen: wennn kite da tak stress dahhhH!~ nanti kite tlg awak buat thesis lagi ok!

meera & cipan : ye, saye sudah kembali menjadi manusia. terima kasih kerane memberi kata2 semangat yg saya amat perlukan.

thank u all for the unconditional support n love. sayang korang. saye telah menjadi manusia kembali!. yippie. akan tetapi. masih takde selera nak makan. wuaaa..lapaa.. bodoh nye perut.

KASIH SAYANG SAYE HANYELAH UTK KALIAN ..and owh. i'm back baby.. im back!!

to be continue...(lapar mode)

mari perahsantan

2009-05-21T16:02:00.002+08:00

saye seorg manusia emo. ye saye tau.
bukan selalu. tetapi bile dah tak tertahan perasaan.
tapi kebelakangan ini saye emo bersebab.
sebab saye lapar tapi tak bole makan kerana perut saye sakit.
dan saye juga tidak mintak untuk sakit seperti ini.
Tuhan takdirkan saye tak lalu makan.
jadi sile paham.
saye emo bukan kerana melayan perasaan jiwa lara.
oleh itu sile jgn igt saye emo kerana kamu.

sekian.